stoneofthehapless:

Professor Tolkien, by kimberly80
hollyhocksandtulips:

"Don’t rush me, big boy"
Comical motto rings, 1950

hollyhocksandtulips:

"Don’t rush me, big boy"

Comical motto rings, 1950

(Source: weirduniverse.net, via fine-whines)

sociallyawkwarddarcy:

cornersofmind:

Teen Movies: 8tracks Collection

I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason.

80s Boombox: 01. The Breakfast Club - Don’t You Forget About Me; Simple Minds | 02. Say AnythingIn Your Eyes; Peter Gabriel 03. Dirty Dancing - Eyes; Eric Carmen | 04. Pretty In Pink - If You Leave; Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark | 05. Some Kind Of Wonderful She Loves Me; Stephen Duffy | 06.  Valley GirlI Melt With You Modern English | 07. Sixteen Candles - True; Spandau Ballet | 08. Pretty In Pink - Try A Little Tenderness; Otis Redding | 09. Dirty Dancing The Time Of My Life; Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes | 10. Top Gun Take My Breath Away; Berlin | 11. Sixteen Candles If You Were Here; Thompson Twins | 12. Mannequin - Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now; Starship | 13. Some Kind Of WonderfulAbuse (Dr. Mabuse Remix); Propaganda | 14. Back To The FuturePower of Love; Huey Lewis and the News | 15. Can’t Buy Me LoveAll Night; Randy Hall | 16. The Breakfast ClubWe Are Not Alone; Karla DeVito | 17. St. Elmo’s Street - Man In Motion; John Parr | 18. Footloose - Footloose; Kenny Loggins | 19. Risky Business - Old Time Rock N Roll; Bob Seger | 20. Ferris Bueller’s Day OffTwist And Shout; The Beatles | 21. Back To The Future - Johnny B. Goode; Chuck Berry | 22. The Blues Brothers Shake A Tail Feather; The Blues Brothers feat. Ray Charles | 23. Flashdance - What A Feeling; Irene Cara | 24.  Can’t Buy Me Love - Can’t Buy Me Love; The Beatles | 25. Happy TogetherHappy Together; The Turtles | 26. Dream A Little DreamDream A Little Dream Me; Mel Tormé and Mickey Thomas | 27. Real GeniusEverybody Wants To Rule The World; Tears For Fears | 28. HeathersTeenage Suicide (Don’t Do It); Big Fun 29. Weird Science - Weird Science; Oingo Boingo | 30. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Oh Yeah; Yello. [LISTEN] 

90s Discman: 01. Cruel Intentions - Bittersweet Symphony; The Verve | 02. Romeo + Juliet - Lovefool; The Cardigans. | 03. ArmagedonI Don’t Want To Miss A Thing Aerosmith | 04. Freaks and GeeksBad Reputation; Joan Jett and the Blackhearts | 05. She’s All ThatRockafeller; Skank Fatboy Slim | 06. CluelessKids In America; The Muffs | 07. Can’t Hardly WaitI Can’t Get Enough Of You, Baby; Smash Mouth | 08. 10 Things I Hate About YouI Want You To Want Me; Letters To Cleo |09. She’s All ThatKiss Me; Sixpence None The Richer | 10. Cruel IntentionsColorblind; Counting Crows | 11. Romeo + Juliet - Talk Show Host; Radiohead | 12. Dawson’s Creek - I Don’t Want To Wait; Paula Cole | 13. I Know What You Did Last SummerClumsy; Our Lady Peace | 14. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Buffy Theme; Nerf Herder | 15. JawbreakerYoo Hoo; Imperial Teen | 16. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead - Draggin’ The Line; Beat Goes Bang | 17. American PieMutt; Blink 182 | 18. Empire RecordsSugarhigh; Coyote Shivers | 19. Drive Me Crazy -  Keep On Loving You; The Donnas | 20. CluelessAlright; Supergrass | 21. Hayley Wagner, StarLook At Me; Geri Halliwell | 22. Teaching Mrs TingleSorry; Stretch Princess | 23. Wish Upon A StarHeaven; Moonpools and Caterpillars | 24.10 Things I Hate About You - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You; Heath Ledger | 25. Buffy The Vampire SlayerLittle Heaven; Toad The Wet Sprocket | 26. Empire Records - Til I Hear It From You; Gin Blossoms | 27. ElectionThis Road I’m Traveling; Mojave 3 | 28. That Thing You Do That Thing You Do; The Wonders | 29. TitanicMy Heart Will Go On; Celine Dion | 30. Drive Me Crazy(You Drive Me) Crazy; Britney Spears. [LISTEN]

00s MP3 Player: 01. A Walk To Remember - Someday We’ll Know; Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman | 02. A Cinderella Story - I’ll Be; Edwin McCain | 03. Down To You - Let’s Stay Together; Seal | 04. Juno - Anyone Else But You; The Moldy Peaches | 05. (500) Days Of Summer - She’s Got You High; Mumm Ra | 06. The O.C. - California; Phantom Planet | 07. Veronica Mars - We Used To Be Friends; The Dandy Warhols | 08. Mean Girls - God Is A DJ; P!nk | 09. Legally Blonde - Perfect Day; Hoku | 10. Bring It On - Hey Mickey; B*Witched | 11. The Princess Diaries - Miracles Happen; Myra | 12. Just My Luck - Just My Luck; McFly | 13. She’s The Man - 4Ever; The Veronicas | 14. Freaky Friday - What I Like About You; Lillix | 15. The Perfect Man - I Will Learn To Love Again; Kaci Brown | 16. Wild Child - Let Me Think About It; Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand | 17. Boys and Girls - Can’t Stop The Rock; Apollo 440 | 18. Freaky Friday - Happy Together; Simple Plan | 19. Josie And The Pussycats - Three Small Words; Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson | 20. Save The Last Dance - All Or Nothing; Athena Cage | 21. Whatever It Takes - Charm Attack; Leona Naess | 22. Confessions of a Teenage Drama QueenThat Girl; Lindsay Lohan | 23. Lizzie McGuire - What Dreams Are Made Of; Hilary Duff | 24. Raise Your Voice - Someone’s Watching Over Me; Hilary Duff | 25. What A Girl Wants - Long Time Coming; Oliver James | 26. A Walk To Remember - Only Hope; Mandy Moore | 27. Get Over It - Dream Of Me; Kirsten Dunst | 28. The Notebook - I’ll Be Seeing You; Billie Holiday | 29. The Prince and Me - I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You; Marc Cohn | 30. The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants - These Days; Chantal Kreviazuk. [LISTEN]

10s Smartphone: 01. Pitch Perfect Cups (When I’m Gone) Anna Kendrick | 02. Easy A Change Of Seasons Sweet Thing | 03. The Fault In Our Stars Boom Clap; Charli XCX | 04. Veronica Mars - Stick Up; Max | 05. Twilight - Black Hole; Muse | 06. Divergent - Beating Heart; Ellie Goulding | 07. Vampire Academy - Bela Lugosi’s; Dead Chvrches | 08. G.B.F. - Body Work; Morgan Page feat. Tegan & Sara | 09. The First Time - Wait For Me; Motopony | 10. Veronica Mars - Prosthetic Love; Typhoon | 11. Catching Fire - Silhouettes; Of Monsters And Men | 12. The Spectacular Now - Song For Zula; Phosphorescent | 13. Breaking Dawn - Turning Page; Sleeping At Last | 14. The Fault In Our Stars - All Of The Stars; Ed Sheeran | 15. The Hunger Games - Safe & Sound; Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars | 16. Beautiful Creatures - Never Too Late; Thenewno2 | 17. The To Do List - Fade Into You; Mazzy Star | 18. City of Bones - When The Darkness Comes; Colbie Caillat | 19. Vampire Academy - Spiritual; Katy Perry | 20. Divergent - I Need You; M83 | 21. The Bling Ring - All Of The Lights; Kanye West feat. Rihanna, Kid Cudi | 22. Pitch Perfect - Price Tag / Don’t You Forget About Me / Give Me Everything; The Barden Bellas | 23. Dirty Girl - Your Love; The Outfield | 24. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Heroes; David Bowie | 25. Easy A - Knock On Wood; Emma Stone | 26. It’s Kind Of A Funny Story - Where Is My Mind; Maxence Cyrin. [LISTEN]

By far the playlist that took me the longest to compile.

(via safetytank)

French archaeologists find 2,000-year-old boomerang used by Gauls

archaeologicalnews:

image

Boomerangs are usually associated with Australian aborigines but these amazing wooden weapons have been found in Egypt, apparently dating back 2,000 years, and in Europe - the oldest one, which was found in a cave in Poland, being 30,000 years old.

They were apparently toys but now archaeologists have found what seems to be a 2,000-year-old boomerang on the beach at Cotentin and it was not used for play, Le Monde newspaper reports.

The stick doesn’t come back when you throw it, the archaeologists said, it was used as a weapon, to hunt.

The ancient Gauls probably used these boomerangs to hunt seagulls, the archaeologists believe. Read more.

textsfromtitanfood:

consider the following aus

  • "we wore matching halloween costume to this party" au
  • "we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
  • "tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help me out" au
  • "we’re the only ones on campus who didn’t go home for christmas" au
  • "we both got in separate bar fights downtown and now we’re waiting in the ER comparing stories" au
  • "accidentally fell in your lap while standing on this crowded bus" au
  • "can u help me sneak my cat into my dorm" au
  • "accidentally got assigned the same library study room so I guess we’ll have to share for the semester" au
  • "It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus" au
  • "I rented the apartment above your flower shop and in the last two months you’ve gotten a new flower I’m allergic to so I keep buying bouquets until I can figure out which kind it is" au

(via cleromancy)

Tags: ALL THE AUs

iguanamouth:

a-ron-hubbard:

wifipasswords:

He looks like some kind of straight white boy mermaid

iguanamouth PLEASE MAKE THIS A THING

iguanamouth:

a-ron-hubbard:

wifipasswords:

He looks like some kind of straight white boy mermaid

iguanamouth PLEASE MAKE THIS A THING

image

(Source: misterpaulito, via empresspinto)

The Only Harry Potter Fanfic I Will Ever Write (Probably)

into-the-weeds:

ursulavernon:

(There was a call to make an LJ post today, so since I was thinking about how Hufflepuff gets absolutely no love the other day, you get my sorry attempts at fic.)

            “Help!” cried the very junior wizard, falling down on the doorstep of the medium-sized cottage that would someday be Hogwarts. “Help!  The giants are invading!”
            “Giants?” asked Godric Gryffindor, sticking his head out of the window. “I thought we beat those last week.”
            “These are different giants,” said the junior wizard. “Also wolves. And basilisks.”
            “Wolves and basilisks?”
            “The wolves are riding the basilisks,” said the wizard. “Look, it’s a bit of a mess, all right?” He rubbed his forehead.
            “Are they werewolves?” called Helga Hufflepuff, from inside the cottage. “I firmly believe that werewolves should be judged by their actions as individuals. This anti-lycanthropic discrimination has got to stop.”
            “They’re riding basilisks,” said Godric. “They’re probably not upstanding members of the werewolf community.”
            “Wouldn’t they have turned to stone?” asked Rowena Ravenclaw, who was sitting in an armchair with a book. She turned a page.
            “Smoked goggles,” said the junior wizard shortly. “Incidentally, I’m bleeding rather a lot.”
            “Oh, you poor dear,” said Helga, wiping her hands on her apron. “Come in and we’ll get you fixed up.”
            The junior wizard sat at the dining room table and was given cookies and a very large brandy, while the four great wizards planned their next move.
            Unfortunately, they were still not very good at working together. Godric wanted a straight charge up the middle, death-or-glory style. Rowena wanted an elaborate battle plan involving perfect timing and the movement of a great many troops they didn’t actually have. Salazar suggested they just seed the enemy’s supplies with botulism and canine distemper.
            “Cowardly!” cried Godric. But Rowena looked thoughtful. Helga tapped a fingernail on her teeth.
            In the end, it was agreed that they would simply all meet on the field of battle tomorrow, ready to fight, and see what the future held.


            In the morning, three wizards gathered on the field of battle. It was a groad, grassy bowl, bordered by hills. Giants and basilisks and werewolves wearing glasses lurked on the far side, although the werewolves were looking a little strung out by the lack of moonlight.
            Rowena was surrounded by a swirling cloud of ravens. They flapped and shrieked in harsh voices.
            “Nice,” said Salazar. “Bit goth, though.”
            “Says a man wearing a giant snake as a bandolier.”
            “That’s not goth, that’s metal. It’s different.”
            Godric was riding a griffin and was a bit annoyed that no one had mentioned how cool it was.
            “You know that thing’ll go to sleep if somebody throws a coat over its head,” said Salazar nastily.
            “Shut up,” said Godric. “You can’t ride your snake.”
            “A snake big enough to ride would need a redesigned nervous system,” said Rowena absently. “You couldn’t get the messages to the tail fast enough. Not sure the circulatory system would hold up, either, to be honest—“
            “I notice somebody hasn’t shown up,” said Salazar.
            “I’m sure Helga will be here in a minute,” said Rowena.
            “What’s she going to do, bake cookies at them?”
            “She can be the healer,” said Godric. “Healers are important.”
            Salazar rolled his eyes.
            They waited. The griffin crapped and everybody had to move upwind.
            “We should never have invited her,” said Salazar. “She can’t found a wizarding school. Her greatest ambition is to get the garden weeded before company comes over.”
            “I’ve seen some pretty lethal plant wizards,” said Godric loyally. “With…um…you know, big thorn hedge things…” He made hand gestures. Salazar looked at him like he was an idiot.
            The ravens were getting bored. They ceased swirling and landed on the grass, grumbling to each other. “Ark. Ark Ark? Ark.”
            Godric ran a hand through his hair. “Okay,” he admitted. “Maybe this isn’t really playing to Helga’s strengths. We could…errr…”
            The ground rumbled.
            The ravens took flight. The griffin squawked. Salazar’s snake constricted in a panic, and Rowena had to help him get it unwound from around his neck.
            The grassy hillside split open.
            Claws as long as a man’s thigh emerged from the earth. Clods of dirt flew as a gigantic beast emerged, shaking its head. A cloud of wet air belched over the three wizards, smelling of worms and turned earth.
            “Sorry!” called a voice from inside the cloud. “Sorry! Monty, you came up too close! You’ll trample the wrong people!””
            “Oh dear god, it’s a badger,” said Godric.
            “Dire badger, I believe,” said Rowena. “Meles dirus. I thought they were extinct…
Salazar put a hand over his eyes.
            It was the size of a house. Helga’s saddle was halfway up the creature’s back, nearly lost on that vast curve of spine. She was still wearing her apron and her gardening gloves.
The badger shook itself again, spattering them all with dirt. The black and white stripes were visible now, along with tiny reins that ran to the base of the creature’s whiskers. It was wearing goggles that appeared to have been cobbled together from ship’s portholes.
            “Good badger!” said Helga. “Who’s a good boy, then?”
            “She named the badger Monty,” said Salazar to no one in particular.
            “Sorry I’m late,” said Helga. “It was hard to get the goggles on him. But he’s such a good badger! Does a good badger want to stomp the mean giants for Mommy?”
            The dire badger gave another belching roar and waved its claws.
            “Kill me,” said Salazar to Rowena.
            “Godric would love to.”
            “I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.”
            “All right,” said Godric, feeling that his authority was somewhat diminished by the fact that his very cool griffin was only about a tenth the size of Helga’s badger. “All right. Um. It’s not the size of the—“
            “Keep telling yourself that, Godric,” said Rowena.
            Monty began lumbering toward the enemy.
            “Would it be okay if we charged now?” called Helga. “I hope it’s okay! Monty’s not very good at waiting…”
            The dire badger broke into a waddling run.
            Godric spurred the griffin, because there was absolutely no glory in being left behind by a badger.
            Rowena and Salazar walked, rather more sedately, toward the enemy.
            “So, about letting her help found the school…” said Rowena.
            “I can admit when I’m wrong,” said Salazar, once Godric was out of earshot.
           “Yes, but you never do.”
           “This is me admitting that I am possibly wrong.” He adjusted his snake. “But you have to admit, you didn’t see the badger coming either.”
           “No,” said Rowena Ravenclaw, “no, the giant badger was a surprise.” She considered. “Hard work and loyalty aren’t bad principles.”
           “They’re a lot better when you’ve got a giant goddamn war-badger to back them up.”
           And none of the other founders ever questioned Helga Hufflepuff’s right to found a wizarding house ever again.

            THE END

 “Hard work and loyalty aren’t bad principles.”

 “They’re a lot better when you’ve got a giant goddamn war-badger to back them up.”

(via deesarrachi)

fairtradehoney:

pretty damn excited to face the day with a) coffee and b) my badass new mug


I want that mug though

fairtradehoney:

pretty damn excited to face the day with a) coffee and b) my badass new mug

I want that mug though

(via cleromancy)

janefoster:

basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

(via fairtradehoney)